milestone

rain falling almost similar to a tv screen gone hazy. the skies were dark, and traffic went by just as normal as it could, and yet not quite. something was different. to say that my emotions were mixed would be inappropriate, it was indescribable. the event which just happened has a drastic irony in it, the pragmatic side of me somehow has disappeared. i dont want to let go of this. i get on the bus, and i feel a certain exhaustion in me suddenly occurring. i yawn, feeling fatigue, happiness, anger and inexplicable feelings surge through me. i know that what i think of now will definitely be gone by the time i reach home to try and write this down. something which many people suddenly will go crazy about, i feel an awkward sense of morbidness, knowing that somehow i had done what i knew i should not have done. and yet, it wasnt that i didnt enjoy it. and just moments later, while on the bus, i felt this certain desire for more. i wasnt ecstatic, it was hardly that. perhaps it was satiation. perhaps, and maybe just perhaps. it was evol.