My life is a mess now, I'm not even kidding about it, I have consciously not handed in my homework, consciously ignored my homework to do much less productive stuff online when I have already told my mum it would be the other way round. And as much as I realise it, I still haven't changed, so what is wrong with me.

Why do I always end up ranting whenever I blog.

Love.
There exists a word called love, the dictionary defines it as "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person." Wonder how long they took to actually come up with that definition.
How do you define love? It's so hard to.
I've thought about it and I came to the conclusion: it's easier to define what is not love.
So what is not love?
Love isn't hurt. Love shouldn't be hurt, and love shouldn't be hate. Love shouldn't be selfish. Love shouldn't spiteful. Love shouldn't be painful. Love shouldn't cause suffering.
So the question on my mind is, do I love?

I've realised one thing, these few days of you ignoring me. I don't want a girlfriend. Rather, I don't want the idea of having a girlfriend, or having someone to call my own. I just want you. And I know that by now, it's too late to go back to what it was. Just simply, too late. So I'll keep this smile which I wear daily, and try and face you without any pain, and without any love, because as I mentioned, love isn't all those listed above right? Not sure whether you agree with my (non)definition, but that's the way I see it. If you still want a friendship, the ball's in your court. Twice I have helped you already this past week, and you've never talked to me again after that. You probably won't read this, but if you are, I want you to know that it's you I want but won't have as someone more than a friend. Goodbye.