well in lieu of the fact that im am pre-occupied with pretty much nothing, i have decided to recap my mad (or actually rather tame) adventures of secondary school life.
lets see.. sec 1. wow, such a long time ago. 4 years. still remember coming to school and being dropped off by mum and dad, having no one to talk to, except for jonathan david i think. coming from henry park primary, which is nto a mission school, i wasnt really familar with many people. so then i got posted to 106. our form teacher was mr alvin chua, but because he had injured himself or something like that, he couldnt make it for the first few weeks of school and so mdm lee pick siew took over him. haha she put jing han in charge because they knew each other, or something like that. i was surprisingly the naughtiest kid there, doing all sorts of stupid stuff before mr alvin chua came. i remember once when our bio teacher, mrs seah, asked who is the naughtiest kid in class, my name was shouted out. haha.. but for some reason it stopped after mr chua came. hmm, intimidated maybe? no idea. but yeah sec 1 life was, how should i say it, i dont have very many other memories of it, sadly. but if im not mistaken i think i was basically drifting through sec 1, enjoying when i could, and stoning a fair bit, and studying sometimes. results werent ever sterling. sec 1 was more or less me cruising through life without anything significant. oh yes! how could i forget. i joined scouts, and legion of mary, morning prasedium, our lady of good council. i was more or less a sleeping member in legion, and in scouts amazingly i got best sec 1. no idea how i did it. i dont think i "sucked up", i dont remember hanging around seniors unlike specific individuals. so yeah ap was quite an experience for a sec 1, only me, marcus and trent made it. then in december there was national patrol camp. me, gabriel, darrick, sean, viknesh, zong bing, shi yan, shaun. and we got a GOLD. could not possibly have happened if not for viknesh's constant pushing us. actually not just viknesh, all of the seniors. so the year pretty much ended with me getting an eye opener in scouts through the competition.
sec 2, wow, that was quite a year. i managed to buy warcraft 3, battlechest. which pretty much meant that i spent the whole of term 1 playing my eyes out, which eventually led to me doing badly for common tests. term 2, sort of studied abit more, though it still didnt have very much effect. i was, if i recall, in danger of being kicked out. or at least thats the way my mum saw it. term 3, i was involved in national scoutcraft pioneering competition, bridge team. we had a reputation to upkeep, sji had won the championship for bridge at that time i think, so there was alot of pressure on us. the sad thing is that we never actually tested the full bridge structure until the day itself, so there was quite a few problems which popped up, and eventually we couldnt even get it up for usage by the public. that was really a shame, but yeah can only blame ourselves. last parts of sec 2 was basically me trying to rush for time, trying to study as much as i could to scrape through sec 2. i got posted to 325 (surprise for some people eh), but managed to appeal into 323. and i missed ace camp. i had everything packed, i went to school and everything, and then they sent me home. because i was sick. darn.. would have loved to go. apart from school, i also went for an adam khoo workshop in march, which for a brief period of time, i did actually feel motivated to study. then i dont know why, i went into a rut shortly after. i wasnt accepted by all my classmates, mainly due to the fact that i was very irritating at that time. i dont deny it. and i did get into alot of fights with samuel tee. haha.. but yeah i did actually feel suicidal at one point of time. well not exactly suicidal as in razor blades or jumping off, but i just wanted to end it all. but thanks to rick, i did manage to realise that there was something wrong with what i wanted to do, and changed. dad left to work in hong kong too, and that changed me quite abit too. gradually i changed for the better, and was finally accepted by 206. late, but better late then never i guess.
sec 3, thats when things really started changing. 323 was quite a nice class i guess, all of us were smart. honestly. just lazy, or maybe just no attitude to work, or just dont care where they end up. but no one was there because they were stupid. oh i was chosen as prayer leader. hmm.. so yeah, sec 3 was the year when we start to take over leadership positions, scouts, legion.. so yes pltc was, interestingly not as tough as i expected it to be. but i think we still got the message, to lead the unit. then there was lltc, which also helped us find our bearing as a leader of ccas in sji. so yup there was speeches, interviews and stuff. and i asked for top 3. and i got patrol leader. sigh.. i just thought that maybe i should at least be recognised for the efforts which i had put into scouts, but on hindsight i do agree with their choice. i was still immature, and i wasnt a clear cut leader, whereas shih hoong, trent and karjun had that in them. still i definitely felt sore about it. but i eventually learnt to live with it, just the same way i learnt to live without being a psl in sec 2. oh and there was eurojam! man, that was really the best camp i have ever ever been to, i had so so much fun there. got to meet new people, and all sorts of stuff there. started to discover the other gender (yes i know it took a while), which made me look quite abit like a girl crazy fool. oh well, at least u had fun, dont think shih hoong did.. haha. then there was npc again in sec 3. the team was shih hoong, trent, karjun, me, lu zhi, matthew koo, shaun, shannon. major problems, and there was also a huge difference going as a sec 3 and a sec 1. shih hoong then broke his arm, and pulled out, leaving us in a fix, because we were really short of men. thankfully chinhao managed to cancel his ipoh trip, and joined us for npc. well from a gold in 2003, we dropped to a silver. by a very narrow margin i think. but yes a gold is a gold, a silver silver. disappointing i guess..
sec 4. the year i finally started living life. became more aware of the things happening. in scouts, i was patrol leader of leopard, and level trainer of the sec 3 batch. taking charge of the sec 3 batch was not an easy task, it was almost a one man job for me. i tried. i really was committed to it. studies wise, i was still kinda slack at the start of the year. in church we had pastoral attachment, and after that we would hang around the cathecist office. and i met.her. at that time, being the loner i was, i knew hardly anyone of the opposite sex (no kidding), and i guess i got ahead of myself. thought too much of little gestures, and i got carried away.. then i realised that she was attached. or at least said she was. i was crushed, but i should have read the signs. looking back, if there was anything that i could change, it would be to have slowed things down and actually looked at things perspectively. suddenly incomplete by backstreet boys made sense. many people told me to forget about it, and just concentrate on my work. so yes thats basically what i did.. which propelled me to get first in class. i did manage to actually forget about her. but then again, it was hardly anything. i didnt even get into a relationship or anything.. and yet. then stupid me, got attracted to someone else in my tution class. but i quickly realised that that person wasnt exactly meant to be with me. and i basically drifted along in sec 4 life, doing pretty much nothing but mug. and mug. and then came confirmation camp. and the flame which was once lost was rekindled. so again i got ahead of myself, but was too cowardly to do anything. so i just watched from the sideline. but at least i got to know more people in church. sadly, just when everyone in our batch actually felt like going to church, there wasnt any more classes. the week after that was our confirmation, which was quite.. sad. haha. confirmation changed my life abit. started talking to God again, though somehow i never seem to be able to maintain such a relationship with him, and i drifted away again. then came stepping down in scouts. handed over my green lanyard to ibrahim. my last ap. right marker. scouts. one of my best and worst decisions in sji. the returns for the amount of effort i put in just wasnt worth it. and yet, eurojam alone made everything worth it. but looking at what i could have been, a rugger with potential, i do regret. being in a uniform group just doesnt match up to being a sportsman. i should have listened to alfrednathan in sec 1. but its not like scouts didnt teach me anything. scouting knowledge definitely came in handy in camps. it was a choice i made, though i wasnt sure what i was getting myself into at that time. regardless, my scouting life in sji is over. then came prelims, which weirdly, i studied less for then mid years. and i managed to get 13 points. maybe its the quality, not the quantity. and so from prelims to o levels it was more or less a study marathon, though i wasnt entirely focused on it. and o levels ame and went, turning out to be easier than i expected. and yes that was basically it. finished. sji was no longer my school. no more morning prayers, no more scouts, no more sji teachers. its a new future
and so im here, after kuching trip which was loads of fun. whats to come for me in the new year? im not gonna make any new years resolution since i dont even believe in it in the first place. what's in store for me in the future? hongkong bound. chinese international school. prospects arent fantastic, but its a life i have to live. im gonna miss singapore alot. all the friends i made. the life i have. everything. thank you all for being with me through my different points of life.
life isnt always rosy. it can be a bitch. but just pray and hope that puppies come out of it. =)
